"I honor my body and it's need for rest, even when sleep is hard to find.” - Rebecca Ann

Introduction:

Ah, sleep. Remember when it used to be so simple? You’d just lie down, close your eyes, and drift off into a peaceful slumber. But since your loss, sleep has turned into an elusive guest—showing up when it wants, ignoring your desperate need for rest. If you’ve been asking yourself, “Why can’t I just get some rest?”, welcome to the club. The widowed sleep struggle is real, and you are definitely not alone in this.

Episode 8: The Widowed Sleep Struggle: Why Can't I Just Get Some Rest?

Why is Sleep So Hard After Loss?

The widowed sleep struggle can feel like a cruel joke. You’re exhausted—mentally, emotionally, and physically—but the moment your head hits the pillow, it’s like your brain flips a switch. Suddenly, every memory, every “what if,” and every feeling of grief decides to play over and over in your mind. Sound familiar?

Grief isn’t just emotional. It messes with your body, too. Your mind is working overtime trying to process everything, and unfortunately, sleep often gets caught in the crossfire. It’s like your body has forgotten how to rest, and you’re stuck wondering, “Why can’t I just get some rest?”—when you need it most.

The Science Behind The Widowed Sleep Struggle

Let’s talk about why sleep is so tricky after loss.

• Emotional Overload: Grief causes heightened emotional responses. Your mind is processing deep emotions, making it hard to relax.

• Physical Stress: Grief puts stress on your body. You may experience muscle tension, headaches, or restlessness that interrupts sleep.

• Racing Thoughts: Your mind is replaying memories, regrets, and fears for the future. It’s like a never-ending loop of “what ifs.”

When you’re caught in the widowed sleep struggle, it’s important to remember that this is part of the grieving process. You’re not failing. You’re human.

What Can You Do To Improve Sleep?

The big question is: “How can I break free from the widowed sleep struggle?” While there’s no magic cure, there are a few things you can do to ease the pressure.

• Be Kind to Yourself: First and foremost stop beating, yourself up for not sleeping. The more pressure you put on yourself, the harder it will be to rest.

• Get Out of Bed: If you're tossing and turning, get up. Have a cup of tea, read something calming, or even journal your thoughts. Sometimes a change of environment helps reset your mind.

• Create a Sleep Routine: Establishing a bedtime routine can help signal to your body that it's time to wind down. Maybe a warm bath, soft music, or dim lighting.

• Limit Screens: Avoid the temptation to scroll through your phone. Blue light from screens can mess with your brain's sleep signals.

It Won't Be Like This Forever

One of the hardest parts of the widowed sleep struggle is the feeling that it will never end. You might be wondering if you’ll ever sleep peacefully again. The good news? It won’t be like this forever. Sleep will come. It might take some time, but your body will eventually find its rhythm again.

Remember, you’re not alone in this. The widowed sleep struggle is something many of us face, but it’s temporary. Be gentle with yourself, and take it one night at a time.

This Weeks Actionable Step

Focus on creating a sleep routine. Keep it simple and focus on one or two things to help you relax and prepare for sleep.

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