"I honor my own path and pace, knowing that I'm the one in control of my healing journey." - Rebecca Ann

Introduction:

Oh, the joys of being a widow - grief, healing, and, of course, the awkward conversations. And let's face it, one of the most cringe-worthy questions has to be, "Are you seeing someone new?" If you haven't heard it yet, trust me - it's just a matter of time. 

For some reason, people feel like matchmaking is their sacred duty as soon as they hear the word "widow." It's like they think we have a universal grief clock that dings when it's time to start dating. Spoiler alert: we don't! So, let's unpack this awkward moment and talk about how to handle it with grace (or a little sass if needed). 

Episode 12: The Awkward Conversations - Are You Seeing Someone New?

Why Is "Are You Seeing Someone New?" So Awkward?

Here's the thing: grief doesn't come with a timeline. Everyone processes loss differently, and when (or if) you're ready to start dating again is completely personal. The question "Are you seeing someone new?" is awkward because:

• It can fee like people are rushing your healing. 

• It assumes you're even thinking about dating (spoiler: you don't have to be).

• It's deeply personal, and frankly, none of anyone's business.

For me, it happened during my first year as a widow. I was still trying to figure out how to get through a grocery store without crying, let alone think about romance. Someone aske me point-blank, "So, are you seeing someone new yet?" My brain froze, and I remember thinking, "Um, no? Someday? Can we circle back in a decade?"

Setting the record Straight

Here's the truth: whether you decide to date or stay single forever is entirely up to you. There's no "right time" to start seeing someone new. Maybe you'll feel one day, or maybe not. Both are okay.

When I reflect on my own journey, I realized I needed to date me first. I had been with my husband since I was 21, and after his passing, I didn't even know what this new version of Rebecca wanted. So, I am taking time to:

• Explore my interests and rediscover myself.

• Focus on personal growth and healing.

• Write a list of what I'd want in a future partner, if I ever felt ready for Chapter 2.

Three years into my widowhood journey, I am loving this new version of me, dating still isn't my main focus. And that's perfectly fine.

How to Handle "Are You Seeing Someone New?"

When someone drops the dreaded question, here are a few ways you can respond:

• Laugh it off: "Wow, bold question! Not anytime soon."

• Shut it down: "Thanks for your concern, but I'm focusing on myself right now."

• Be direct: "That's a personal question, and I'm not ready to talk about it."

• Add humor: "Let me work on remembering to eat three meals a day first!"

This Weeks Actionable Step

Each week I like to leave you with an actionable step to help you move forward:

Set boundaries around awkward questions. Whether it's with friends, family, or nosy strangers, practice a response you're comfortable with. You deserve to protect your healing space.

Lastly........

So, the next time someone asks, "Are you seeing someone new?" you've got the tools to handle it. Laugh it off, set a boundary, or just say, "None of your business!" Remember, this is your journey, and you're the one in the driver's seat.

Your 'Next Chapter' Starter Kit

If I could hand you a little box of momentum and hope, it would look a lot like this.

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