"I give myself permission to not be fine today, because healing isn't on anyone's timeline but mine.” - Rebecca Ann

Introduction:

Let's talk about a word that we've all used too often: fine. It's the go-to answer when someone asks, "How are you?" - and let's be honest, most, people feel relieved when they here it. But sometimes, 'fine' is the biggest lie we'll tell all day. And you know what? That's ok. You've been through something life changing, and pretending everything is fine when it's not just adds pressure.

So today, I'm giving you full Permission to Not be 'Fine' Today, and here's why that's totally acceptable.

Episode 3: Permission to Not Be 'Fine' Today

The Pressure to Say You're 'Fine'

We've all done it. You're asked how you're doing, and you say "I'm fine," even though inside, you're far from it. But why do we feel like we have to say we're okay?:

• We don't want to make others uncomfortable.

• We feel guilty for not being okay.

• We think we should be "over" our grief by now.

• We're afraid of looking weak or like a burden.

But here's the truth: you don't owe anyone that word unless it's really how you feel. Some days, I'm not even fine with myself, let alone ready to be "fine" for someone else. And that's perfectly okay.

When 'Fine' Feels Like a Lie

There were times in my life when even saying "fine" was exhausting. I remember waking up, knowing I couldn't pretend anymore. Pretending to be fine doesn't make things better - it just drains you more.

Here's the reality:

• Some days, getting out of bed is a victory.

• Other days, just having a shower is an achievement.

• And sometimes, you might find yourself in a full-on ugly cry just because someone asked, "How are you really doing?"

Grief is unpredictable, and it doesn't follow a timeline. So if, today is when 'fine' feels like the biggest lie you've told, then you have Permission to Not Be 'Fine' Today.

Giving Yourself Permission to Be Real

You're navigating one of the most difficult transitions life can throw at you, and widowhood itself is a full-time job. Add to that the pressure to act like everything's ok, and it's no wonder you're feeling drained.

What if, instead of pretending, you gave yourself permission to be real? Whether that means feeling sad, angry, lost, or all of the above - it's all valid. Every single feeling is valid. Give yourself Permission to Not be 'Fine' Today can be the best gift you give yourself.

This Weeks Affirmation

"I give myself permission to not be fine today, because healing isn't on anyone's timeline but mine."

This Weeks Actionable Step

The next time someone asks, "How are you?" take a moment. Do you really want to say you're fine? If not, don't force it. Try:

• "I'm taking things moment by moment."

• "Today's a tough one, but I'm getting through it."

• "Or just be honest: "I'm not really sure, but I'm here."

You have permission to Not Be 'Fine' Today. It's your day, your feelings, your process.

Resources I Know You'll Love

Resource #1 | Redesign Your Life Membership Program - a transformative, supportive community designed specifically for women navigating life after loss. This is a private podcast, a space for growth, healing and transformation. You receive exclusive audio workshops and special episodes where we dive deeper into the 10 pillars of widowhood, including emotional wellbeing, financial stability, rediscovering identity, and more. Each workshop (6-7 episodes) is paced with actionable tools, compassionate guidance, and strategies to help you release what no longer serves you and redesign your life with hope and purpose.

Resource #2 | Widow Warrior Wear - Widow wear designed just for widows in this season of life. Our shop celebrates the strength and humor of widows with sassy slogans and empowering designs. Laugh, love, and wear your warrior spirit proudly as you journey through grief and re-design your life!

Resource #3 |Widow Wellness Kit- My Widow Wellness Kit is filled with handpicked products I've personally tried and tested as a widow navigating grief and healing. Each item has been chosen to help release stress, promote relaxation, and create moments of calm, offering practical tools I've found invaluable on my own journey - and now I'm sharing them with you.